Happy Fathers Day

This is one of those days that are hard for me. I miss my dad and going to visit his grave isn't fair on a day like this. I want him in person. I do like that I can reflect about all the fun times we had and the good man that he was. It just kills me that my youngest kids won't ever get to know him like the rest of us. He is just a photo in a frame named Papa. So it's my job to make sure they are aware what an amazing person he was, no he is.


A few memories...

• We went on some fabulous vacations growing up. We traveled often with my dad for business. My mom was a history teacher and my dad could have been one too! We toured battle fields, walked through colonial houses, frequented museums (love the Smithsonian), and saw so much of the US. Funny thing I remember is my dad would stop at EVERY historical marker, you know the ones that you drive by and wonder, who seriously stops to read those? Well, we did!


• My dad gave me 2 tickets to Les Miserables the year I was 17 for Christmas - 2nd row, center!!! He said I could take anyone I wanted with me. I took him. We had a fabulous time and went out afterwards for dessert. I will never forget how much that night meant to him... and to me.


• The night before my wedding day, I stayed at my parent's house and he and I chatted until very late. I loved that even though he was exhausted from setting up for my reception, he stayed up with me ( I couldn't sleep) and felt it important to keep me company and to offer advise. I will always cherish that.


• Every year for memorial day we would pile in the car and travel to Logan and Bear Lake to decorate relatives graves. It was always important to my dad to not only spend time with the family around us, but to remember those who were no longer with us. I guess thats why it is so surreal that now on that day we decorate his grave and reflect about him.


• My dad would often dissapear Saturday afternoons. One of his favorite things to do was to wander around Grand Central (pre-Smith's Marketplace) and buy toiletries and household items. He'd come home with 10 tubes of toothpaste and a half-dozen boxes of lightbulbs and batteries. It happened ALL the time. He also loved shopping the JC Penney Catalog.


• My dad was CEO at University Hosital. No matter where I went in that hospital, I would always run into someone who sang his praises. People spoke of him with such love and admiration. It made me so proud to be his daughter. When he was sick, we had to put an actual security guard at his door to keep people out - not to be mean, but he just needed to rest and have quiet.


• After my dad got sick, I would spend a lot of time with him just tending to his needs. Sometimes he was pretty out of it and would say the funniet things. I guess when you are in a horrible, sad situation like that it is helpful to find humor in it. One of the funniest things he said is when he turned to me once and told me there were just too many dots on the ceiling (in the hospital) and that my brother should get the award for the most dots. An he once to my mom to get the monkeys dancing on his toes off. He went on for a half hour about that. Yeah, he had some really good pain meds.

And a few photos (please tell Scott I want a scanner for my birthday)...

On my blessing day with my mom & dad

LOVE my dad's converse all-stars. Gee, he was HIP!

We always carved pumpkins on Halloween - it was SO fun!

Were the 70's really THAT orange???

Becoming a grandpa! (This is Kesley)

My wedding day.

Vacationing at Disneyland.

Summer 2001.

Summer 2003 in Park City.

The night before my dad started chemo treatments. This is a quilt I made for him for comfort.

I LOVE YOU DAD!!!

I miss my dad

Today marks two years since my dear father passed away. I can't believe it has been so long. I miss him terribly. This man was my greatest hero and my life has forever changed since he left this earth. Dad died from cancer, sarcoma to be exact. It started in his right thigh and even after grueling chemo and radiation and then a ten pound tumor surgically removed - it STILL ravaged his lungs and took him from us. Dad fought so hard to stay. He went through eight surgeries in 2 years. He tried all conventional therapies and then tried alternative means, even traveling to Mexico for stem cells. It's hard not to clearly remember all the suffering he endured and just remember his wonderful life. As time has passed, I am able to think less of his death and more of his life. I can remember details of being with him on family vacations, rides to and from work (we both worked at the U of U), late night talks, and family dinners. One of the things I miss most about him is his goofy sense of humor. He loved to be a clown and although he was SO embarrassing sometimes - it's those things that really make me smile when I think of him. I also miss his great big smile – it would light up a room and was so comforting to me. I so miss his advice. No matter what I was going through, he had words of wisdom and a way of helping me see a realistic picture. He understood me in a way no one else did. He knew when I was struggling, but was never critical. He loved me unconditionally. I miss just sitting next to him an holding his hand. I did this a lot when he was sick and I am so thankful I got to spend so much time with him the last few years of his life. I loved that I could serve him that way. I sat next to him as he left this earth and it was such a special thing. So hard, but I’m glad I was there with him.

Today is hard for me and I think it will continue to be a day of reflection as long as I live. I plan on visiting his grave today and placing hearts on it since we are getting close to Valentines Day. I love you so much dad!

Rick Fullmer (Nov 3, 1944 - Feb 3, 2006)

Our last family photo - (10 days before dad died)

Christmas 2005 - last one with dad

One of my favorites - Hallie as a baby

Scott & our parents - summer 2005