Happy Birthday Audrey

My sweet baby turns two today. She is growing up so fast! Her favorite things in the world are her purple blanket (she calls a mimi) and anything Arial. She's a little obsessed. Audrey was in heaven today with it being Thanksgiving - her favorite thing to do is help me cook and we cooked and baked all morning long. Audrey is such a joy in my life. I love her silly grin and her slobbery kisses. I love that she makes up her own words and "talks" to you so serious - but you have no idea what she is saying. Happy 2nd Birthday baby!

Breakdown

OK, so it was bound to happen... I have been going along fairly well, keeping it together and obviously suppressing my emotions. Last night I completely lost it. I had a melt down - cried and sobbed and felt sorry for myself. Being a girl, I knew this would be ultimately a good thing, because today I feel better and more able to tackle the things on my ginormous plate of life. I've recognized that I am overwhelmed and that I can't do it all. I need to learn to say no and not continue to let people tell me what to do. I am an adult for crying out loud... stop treating me like I am 14. And just because I am doing things differently or out of the norm from what others think I should be doing (or what they would do), it doesn't mean I am doing them wrong. I've never been through this before so cut me some freakin slack here. This is a learning process and I am trying to figure it out. And I have an awful lot to figure out. I'm still in the one day at a time mode, which is SO hard for me because I am a planner and want to have my future mapped. Not so easy right now since my world turned upside down and everything is up in the air. But again, even venting here is helpful. (((breathe))). Thanks for listening, er, I mean reading - love you all. :)

7 Quirky things no one knows about me . . .

Tagged by my beautiful and talented Alaska friend... Tonya. (and yes, I realize this is 2 tags done in one day. It's my blog so deal with it.)

1. I talk to myself - and answer myself. I have full on conversations with me at the grocery store. Sometimes if I'm caught I pretend I'm talking to Audrey. She plays along so well.

2. I can't eat cows. I haven't had any red meat in more than 5 years and the thought of eating it makes me a little nauseated. Even when I was pregnant with Hallie and Audrey and I craved cheeseburgers with a fierceness, I didn't give in. If only I had that same willpower against chocolate...

3. I am very claustrophobic. So bad that even using earplugs or being blindfolded makes me nervous. I've had countless MRIs for my migraines and a MS scare, and all but twice I freaked out in the tube. Had to be pulled out in hysterics. The two times I was ok... much better drugs.

4. I don't know how to drive a stick shift. So stupid, huh? I just never learned and now I don't care. We've always had automatic cars, so no big deal.

5. I love graham crackers. My favorite way to eat them? Break apart the whole graham cracker into the four pieces, stack them together and dunk them in milk. So good. Hallie and I sit together and eat them this way. I also love them as smores (Dallin's fav) and in any pie as a graham cracker crust, especially a chocolate graham cracker crust.

6. I adore flip flops. I wear them year round. Only time I won't is in a blizzard. Just last week I was going into the courthouse and the sheriffs doing security check at the front doors were laughing at me cause it was freezing and I had my cute little flip flops on. But I had cute painted toes that begged to be free. Oh, remember when we used to call them thongs? Yeah, not the same meaning anymore.

7. I hate it when someone reads my magazine before I have a chance to flip though it. Drives me insane. I want it to be fresh. Same goes for catalogs in the mail and coupons/ads out of the Sunday paper. Kesley knows this and reads them just to get to me - I'm onto her.

8 Things Tag

I don't have a lot I want to write about lately, so I saw this fun tag on another person's blog and just to let you all know I am still alive, here it is...

8 Movies I like to watch

1. PS I Love You
2. Juno
3. Phantom of the Opera
4. The Electric Horseman
5. Walk the Line
6. The Notebook
7. The Saint
8. The Italian Job

8 Things that happened yesterday

1. Made cookies with the kids. We ate a lot of dough.
2. Started a new book... The Hungar Games
3. Took a nap (thank you kids)
4. Finally finished folding the laundry
5. Furnace broke in the morning and it was 61' in our house - it's fixed now.
6. Made dinner
7. Everyone bathed/showered - major accomplishment in our house!
8. Planned out my week.

8 Favorite places to eat

1. Red Rock
2. The Pub
3. Cafe Rio
4. Paradise Bakery
5. Thai Siam
6. Macaroni Grill
7. Cheesecake Factory
8. Market Street

8 Things I am looking forward to

1. Spending the holidays with my kids.
2. Selling my house - not too optimistic about this one though.
3. Twilight movie comes out this Friday.
4. My 2 little nephews arriving in Spring '09.
5. Getting together for dinner with my childhood best freind this weekend.
6. Only have to work 2.5 days next week.
7. My mom's house being finished - love her, but having her live with us is hard.
8. Putting this year behind me and starting fresh in 2009.

8 Things on my wish list

1. Wish I was out of debt!
2. Wish I had more patience.
3. Wish Scott could find a job.
4. Wish I had enough money for my kid's Christmas.
5. Wish my house would sell (and for the asking price).
6. Wish I wasn't so hard on myself. Why are we our own worst critics?
7. Wish I had more motivation to list all the things I have to sell on eBay.
8. Wish I was home in my warm bed and not at work right now.

Fall Chores

BEFORE... (or really during - Hallie loved helping me rake)

AFTER...

I voted

Pleasantly surprised that there weren't long lines at my voting place. Felt good to do my American duty. We live in an awesome country where we have the right and priviledge to vote. So if you haven't voted yet, what are you waiting for????

Happy Birthday Dad

Today is my dad's birthday. He would have been 64 years old. I think about him everyday and miss him so much. I feel so cheated that he isn't here anymore. So unfair that he had to go. I KNOW he's in a good place and I KNOW I will see him again, but for right this minute I am feeling selfish and I just want him HERE. Dad, I love you. I am kinda lost without you, but I know you are not far because I can still feel you helping me, guiding me. I know we will be together again someday. I hope you like the balloons and flowers for your grave. I wish they were in person. Happy Birthday. All my love, Rachel


Rick Fullmer (November 3, 1944 - February 3, 2006)

Cancer is so limited…
It cannot cripple Love.
It cannot shatter Hope.
It cannot corrode Faith.
It cannot destroy Peace.
It cannot kill Friendship.
It cannot suppress Memories.
It cannot silence Courage.
It cannot invade the Soul.
It cannot steal Eternal Life.
It cannot conquer the Spirit.