Monday, November 24, 2008

Breakdown

OK, so it was bound to happen... I have been going along fairly well, keeping it together and obviously suppressing my emotions. Last night I completely lost it. I had a melt down - cried and sobbed and felt sorry for myself. Being a girl, I knew this would be ultimately a good thing, because today I feel better and more able to tackle the things on my ginormous plate of life. I've recognized that I am overwhelmed and that I can't do it all. I need to learn to say no and not continue to let people tell me what to do. I am an adult for crying out loud... stop treating me like I am 14. And just because I am doing things differently or out of the norm from what others think I should be doing (or what they would do), it doesn't mean I am doing them wrong. I've never been through this before so cut me some freakin slack here. This is a learning process and I am trying to figure it out. And I have an awful lot to figure out. I'm still in the one day at a time mode, which is SO hard for me because I am a planner and want to have my future mapped. Not so easy right now since my world turned upside down and everything is up in the air. But again, even venting here is helpful. (((breathe))). Thanks for listening, er, I mean reading - love you all. :)

3 comments:

Beck said...

Rachel... you go girl! Tell everyone off because they don't know what you're going through and you deserve a bad day everyday if you want one! haha! I love you! I'm so hear for you if need anything... someone to yell at, cry to, bitch to, whatever...I'm here! You are so strong and you are my hero! Keep it up, girl.... you can do it!!!

bottspot said...

It's so hard to recognize and actually tell people to BACK OFF!! GOOD LUCK and let me know if I can help! You know I don't judge!

Shelly said...

I rarely get the chance to post, but wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and praying for you and I'm glad you had a good cry.

I know our situations are very different, but I know the overwhelmed and unsure of how the future's going to go feeling (more along the how will I ever go shopping without a babysitter lines).

For saying no: sometimes it helps me to say "let me get back to you", then I can plan my refusal (okay, got it from Oprah).

Good luck!!!!