Sunday, February 3, 2008

I miss my dad

Today marks two years since my dear father passed away. I can't believe it has been so long. I miss him terribly. This man was my greatest hero and my life has forever changed since he left this earth. Dad died from cancer, sarcoma to be exact. It started in his right thigh and even after grueling chemo and radiation and then a ten pound tumor surgically removed - it STILL ravaged his lungs and took him from us. Dad fought so hard to stay. He went through eight surgeries in 2 years. He tried all conventional therapies and then tried alternative means, even traveling to Mexico for stem cells. It's hard not to clearly remember all the suffering he endured and just remember his wonderful life. As time has passed, I am able to think less of his death and more of his life. I can remember details of being with him on family vacations, rides to and from work (we both worked at the U of U), late night talks, and family dinners. One of the things I miss most about him is his goofy sense of humor. He loved to be a clown and although he was SO embarrassing sometimes - it's those things that really make me smile when I think of him. I also miss his great big smile – it would light up a room and was so comforting to me. I so miss his advice. No matter what I was going through, he had words of wisdom and a way of helping me see a realistic picture. He understood me in a way no one else did. He knew when I was struggling, but was never critical. He loved me unconditionally. I miss just sitting next to him an holding his hand. I did this a lot when he was sick and I am so thankful I got to spend so much time with him the last few years of his life. I loved that I could serve him that way. I sat next to him as he left this earth and it was such a special thing. So hard, but I’m glad I was there with him.

Today is hard for me and I think it will continue to be a day of reflection as long as I live. I plan on visiting his grave today and placing hearts on it since we are getting close to Valentines Day. I love you so much dad!

Rick Fullmer (Nov 3, 1944 - Feb 3, 2006)

Our last family photo - (10 days before dad died)

Christmas 2005 - last one with dad

One of my favorites - Hallie as a baby

Scott & our parents - summer 2005

2 comments:

Kellie said...

Wow...2 years. That's a really hard thing you've had to go through. I'm glad we have the knowledge that you will be able to see him again.

Jennie said...

It's nice to hear all of the wonderful memories that you have of your dad. I am really sorry this time of year is a hard one. I can't even imagine. I didn't even know him very well, and I thought he was amazing and fun and just about the nicest guy you could meet. My thoughts are with you, your mom, and your family